Humans: *encounters Earth’s Largest Carnivore, who would could swallow them whole, probably*
Human: … Spin?
Earth’s largest carnivore, with a brain that weighs almost as much as this naked beach ape*: SPIN!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPERM WHALES ARE CARNIVORES
I THOUGHT THEY ATE KRILL AND STUFF LIKE OTHER WHALES
Nope! Sperm whales eat extremely large deep-sea squids, like the Giant and Colossal Squids. They have also been known to opportunistically eat dead whales, sharks, and seals, but not actively hunt them. They got real big teeth for it too:
However, they only have teeth on thier bottom jaw! they have corresponding holes in their top jaw for the teeth to lock into, which makes hanging onto a slippery, boneless squid:
It should be noted that the human here isn’t in particular danger of being eaten on purpose, but an accidental swing of it’s multi-ton head, a clip from the teeth, or being directly in the line of it’s sonar could seriously injure or kill them- Divers that have been in the direct line of echolocation for a sperm whale calf have described being hit with the soundwave like “being kicked by a horse” and some have suffered internal organ damage. Sperm whales, like other large whales, aren’t particularly aggressive towards humans, but they are still very large wild animals who behave in unpredictable ways.
I know that in US waters, it’s illegal to intentionally come within 300 yards of any whale or dolphin, and if one appears closer you should turn off your engine or stop paddling to avoid accidental injury to you or it. This human is doing something dangerous and ill-advised, but it’s still hopeful that we can love something like a 130,000 lb deep-diving, squid-eating Oceanic former ungulate.
Im.sorry I’ve lived my entire life not realizing that echolocation could possibly be felt and I have to come to terms with the fact that whales have sonic attacks
the reason they don’t want you to use photoshopping as a verb is because if were to become so widely used that it were oficially known as a verb, they would lose all brand name copyright, essentially costing them millions in name copyright. i, personally, would love to see this happen so please use photoshop as a verb as much as you can
mcdonalds to their workers: remember we can replace you with robots and it would be just as efficient so do not to beg for more scraps.
mcdonalds three seconds later: ice cream machine broken, sorry.
the reason they’re always “broken” is mcdonalds ice cream machines take 4 hours to clean, mcdonalds has repeatedly said they would replace the machines with ones that are easier to clean, and yet they still haven’t years after the proclamation
basically what i’m saying is, how can they replace their employees with efficient machines when they can’t even replace their machines with efficient machines.
Those old ice cream machines are nasty af btw, corporate’s refusal to replace their old busted-ass machinery is a danger to the workers and consumers. The one at the McDonald’s I worked at had an internal leak so the inside was just full of old rotten milk that smelled like death, but even after my manager opened it up and cleaned it out upper management wouldn’t even think about replacing it cause they didn’t seem to see a problem. Because apparently exposing your workers and customers to rotten food isn’t a problem as long as no one sees it.
Anyway even if the ice cream machine is working probably don’t get the ice cream.
