Poor Francie
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About: Hey, my name is Frances. I'm an adult.

tordenvejr:

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(via squided)

witchwardian:

twofingerswhiskey:

people who don’t wear glasses don’t get the added benefit of taking off your HD eyesight for a while. just. fuck it! i’m done. 240p vision time

I’ve seen enough.

(via theshantiestme11ophone)

milfmarthawayne:

to all the people who may be coming back here from twitter in light of elon’s purchase:

A photograph of a single story suburban home with a car parked out front. A handmade sign reading "welcome home, cheater" in all caps is hanging from the storm drain.

(via clamperls)

teathattast:

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funnytwittertweets:

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starcrossedlizardxo:

me: gosh i have so much work to do i better get started

my brain: you cannot

me: why

my brain: you are feeling moderately upset, any attempt at productivity is futile

me: i don’t see how-

my brain: cannot.

memes-to-show-my-therapist:

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(via codenamemaximus)

chickenfarmersan:

meganandnicky:

chickenfarmersan:

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(via mostlybrodie)

dankmemeuniversity:

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(via clamperls)

pettycentral:

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(via kaijuno)

ohsua:

me: learns something absolutely cursed i wish i could unlearn

me, texting a friend: hey guess what i just found out

(via clamperls)

gunnyryan:

just-shower-thoughts:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Who the fuck wrote this

(via squided)

squided:

dwynnie:

gallusrostromegalus:

regaldragonempress:

gallusrostromegalus:

skootdawg:

Sperm whale mimics a spinning diver.

Humans: *encounters Earth’s Largest Carnivore, who would could swallow them whole, probably*

Human: … Spin?

Earth’s largest carnivore, with a brain that weighs almost as much as this naked beach ape*: SPIN!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPERM WHALES ARE CARNIVORES

I THOUGHT THEY ATE KRILL AND STUFF LIKE OTHER WHALES

Nope! Sperm whales eat extremely large deep-sea squids, like the Giant and Colossal Squids. They have also been known to opportunistically eat dead whales, sharks, and seals, but not actively hunt them. They got real big teeth for it too:

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However, they only have teeth on thier bottom jaw!  they have corresponding holes in their top jaw for the teeth to lock into, which makes hanging onto a slippery, boneless squid:

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It should be noted that the human here isn’t in particular danger of being eaten on purpose, but an accidental swing of it’s multi-ton head, a clip from the teeth, or being directly in the line of it’s sonar could seriously injure or kill them- Divers that have been in the direct line of echolocation for a sperm whale calf have described being hit with the soundwave like “being kicked by a horse” and some have suffered internal organ damage.  Sperm whales, like other large whales, aren’t particularly aggressive towards humans, but they are still very large wild animals who behave in unpredictable ways.

I know that in US waters, it’s illegal to intentionally come within 300 yards of any whale or dolphin, and if one appears closer you should turn off your engine or stop paddling to avoid accidental injury to you or it.  This human is doing something dangerous and ill-advised, but it’s still hopeful that we can love something like a 130,000 lb deep-diving, squid-eating Oceanic former ungulate.

Im.sorry I’ve lived my entire life not realizing that echolocation could possibly be felt and I have to come to terms with the fact that whales have sonic attacks

whale: *speaks*

human: *instantly dies*

(via squided)

lookataleaf3000:

dankmemeuniversity:

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sensible business policy

(via crovyne)

griffin-mcelroys-vore-corner:

death-rae:

bluebloodstains:

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posts like these I dread laughing at near other people because there is absolutely no way that I can explain this

Whenever I see this I just mumble “baby is snack” in Final Pam’s voice and I don’t realise it until I’ve already said it.

(via codenamemaximus)

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